Synopsis:
Shame. Panic. Desire. Dominance. Disgust.
All
feelings that I was familiar with from the age of sixteen. That's when I
met Ana. The girl next door who became so much more. Until her, I was
alone in the dark desires that I didn't understand, that I couldn't
reconcile.
My best friend, she accepted me. Helped me see that
there was no shame in the things that we both craved. Her submission was
a drug, my dominance over her a high that I'd never experienced. When
we were together, I was at peace for the first time in my life.
But it was too good to last. Our own guilt over our feelings, of our appetite for pain and pleasure, destroyed us.
I
was convinced that all I needed was a chance, just one more chance to
overcome my shame, and Ana would be able to trust me again.
If only it were that easy.
*WARNING:
This book is an erotic romance and does contain consensual sexual
situations between characters under eighteen that include submission and
domination.
Review:
Shame Me Not by
Fiona Cole
My rating:
5 of 5 stars
Shame Me Not is the first book I have ever read by Fiona Cole and it will definitely not be my last.
I stayed up late last night to finish reading it and I am still taking it all in. It is unlike anything I have ever read and I have to admit that at times it shocked me and I mean SHOCKED me. Going into it, I had a feeling it was going to be an intense novel, but nothing could have prepared me for what I read. It was dark, gritty and completely out of my comfort zone, but no matter how much it tested what I thought was right and wrong, I could not put it down. I was enthralled with Kevin and Ana. They are unlike any characters I have ever come across.
Ana moves in next door to Kevin and from the very first day they meet, their friendship blossoms and they become the best of friends. Their relationship starts as your typical sweet friends to lover romance novel where they are the best of friends who do everything together and understand each other like no one else does, but the moment Ana discovers Kevin's deepest, darkest desires, everything changes between them. They both learn that they want the same things.
Kevin is a sadist and Ana is a masochist. Kevin is into humiliation and dealing out pain. Ana is into receiving it. Ana is independent but she wants someone to take care of her and make most of her choices for her because all she's ever done is take care of her mom, so she just wants someone to take the reigns in her life, because she's tired of being in charge and taking care of others. She just wants someone to ease her burden, and Kevin is just the person for the job, because all he wants is to take care of her. They are perfect for each other in every sense of the word, they just don’t see it.
They ultimately give into their desires and when they do, they are filled with feelings of guilt, shame and disgust. Kevin has a hard time coming to terms with what he desires and feels it’s wrong and is disgusted with himself. Ana eventually starts hating what she desires too and wishes she were normal and tries to be someone she’s not, but it all proves to be useless because she can’t stop wanting what she desires. It’s a part of her she can’t deny forever.
Reading Kevin and Ana’s story not only taught me new things, but it also has taught me to be more understanding, because I know that if someone had told me they were into what Kevin and Ana liked before I read
Shame Me Not I would have thought they were crazy, but after reading their story, I have realized just how difficult it is for someone to come to terms with what they enjoy intimately because they always have to worry about what others are going to think. Just seeing how much Kevin and Ana struggled to accept themselves honestly broke my heart. I hated seeing how ashamed they were of themselves and what they desired when it was something that just came natural to them. They vied with that part of themselves and because of it they hurt each other time and time again, which frustrated me to no end, but at the same time I was glad they made the choices they did because it helped them grow as people.
If there is one thing I really appreciate about
Shame Me Not it is that Kevin and Ana’s desires do not stem from a hard past, abuse or trauma, which I feel is starting to be a recurring theme in dark romance novels, and the fact that Fiona Cole did not take that approach was refreshing, because Kevin and Ana don’t desire what they do to cope with a difficult upbringing or past. They do it out of pure desire and I like that because it doesn’t feel like some excuse for the things they are into. They are simply into what they desire because it comes naturally to them and I appreciate that as a reader, because it helps me understand that there are people out there who have the same desires as Kevin and Ana, and through their story I have learned to be more open minded and to not be so quick to judge others when it comes to what they like sexually. If anything I need to be more understanding, because it’s not easy for people to accept what they like, and after seeing both Kevin and Ana’s internal struggles I truly sympathize with people who are going through what Kevin and Ana went through and will take what I learned from their story and just try to be more understanding.
Overall, I enjoyed reading
Shame Me Not, which I did not expect at all since I am not into the BDSM genre or a big fan of dark romance novels, but Fiona Cole did the impossible and created a story that not only changed my perspective but also taught me so much.
I give
Shame Me Not 5 out of 5 stars and recommend it to all fans of BDSM and dark romance novels out there. You will enjoy it. I have no doubt about it.
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Favorite Quotes:
- How could I focus on anything other than the girl pinning me in place with her grayish blue eyes? They held no emotion. No friendliness, no irritation or anger. When I looked harder, I thought maybe I could see a hint of sadness. I wanted to figure out if I was right.
- I wondered how my girlfriend would feel about the new neighbor; how she would feel about me having Ana alone upstairs all night. Or how she would feel about all these thoughts and concerns I had for a girl I'd just met.
- The fear of being different and having it exploited and ruining my father's career as a senator added to to the layers of stress and made me feel even worse for the things I desired.
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